Creating our Own Enemies;Thoughts as the New Year Approaches

By Diego Garcia III | Editor of The Brownsville Beacon

2019 has been a tumultuous year. I guess the same can be said for almost all the years that I've lived as a supposed "responsible adult." However, this year was especially rocky. I can't wait for the clock to strike midnight on December 31st. I can't wait for 2020 to start.

I am not a child. I know 2019's problems aren't going to stay behind, but I guess it's more of a symbolic cleansing that I'm looking for. 

I have been on a journey of self-discovery, revitalization, and searching for inner peace. For many years, I lived for other people. I have done what was expected of me, and I have done what others have wanted me to do. I put my own interests aside for the interests of others. Going into my 43rd year of life on this planet, I am finally coming to the realization that living for others is not really livng at all.

I am very thankful I have reconnected with friends and family who have helped me along on this journey. I am also very grateful to a very special someone who has opened my eye to the importance of self-care, meditation, and trying to find my true self (you know who you are — I hope you get to read this).

Starting up my blog once again has also been helpful and therapeutic. There are still days where the sadness and ennui consumes me. It is a daily struggle with my inner demons — a legitimate battle of good and evil and a battle for the purification and redemption of my soul. 

I carry guilt around like a cross. That has always been one of my biggest flaws. Throughout my life I have learned to forgive those who have wronged me, and I have even learned to forgive those who have betrayed me. I can honestly say, with no doubt in my mind, I have no hatred in my heart for anybody. However, there is one person who I have never been able to forgive — myself.

I'm working very hard towards my spiritual awakening. It is a long and arduous journey. I can only hope I can get to the end before I leave this earth.

As we head towards the new year, one of the things I am trying hard to work on is being a lot less negative than I am. We fail to realize just how true the adage of being our own worst enemy really is. We create our own negativity. We surround ourselves with poisonous people and things, then shake our heads and wonder why we are the way we are and why we feel so bad.

I recently saw the most recent Joker movie. Joaquin Phoenix stars as a passive, mild-mannered, people-pleasing, mentally unstable clown who just wants to make people laugh. He suffers from a disorder that makes him laugn uncontrollably, often during inappropriate situations. Through a series of events, and living a life of being severely mistreated, Arthur Fleck evolves into the personification of terror and mayhem that is the DC Comic villain The Joker. He eventually goes on a murderous rampage and wreaks havoc throughout Gotham City.

The movie was a very powerful portrayal of the world we live in today. Villains are not born evil. Children are not born with evil in their hearts. Evil is something that is learned. I am not a medical professional, and I do not pretend to have any advanced training in psychiatry or psychology, but serial killers were not born serial killers — they became serial killers through a series of life experiences that shaped them and led them down the road they eventually traveled on. We are not born with a toxic, negative outlook on life — we shape that outlook based on all the toxicity and negativity in the environment around us.

We create the "Jokers" of the world. Through our actions, through our negativity, through our mistreatment of others, and through the negativity that we allow to course through our veins, we help shape the negativity around us. Had someone shown Arthur compassion or love rather than ridicule and scorn, had someone extended Arthur their hand in friendship rather than held out a fist to punch him, and had the world laughed with him rather than at him perhaps we wouldn't have had a hand in creating a monster. 

It really doesn't cost anything to be a little nicer to people. It doesn't cost anything to treat people with a little more compassion and patience. We don't have to help create monsters. We can prevent creating them in the first place.

Yes, we are ultimately responsible for our own actions, but we are also responsible for crafting, shaping, and molding the world we live in. We, as humans, are all responsible for helping heal the planet. We are all responsible for making the world a better place.

As a blogger, and as a part of the Brownsville Blogosphere, I do not try to attack people on a personal level. Recently, there have been those who have chosen to attack me and criticize me and my work. I am merely trying to present my readers with information I think needs to be presented. I get not all of it is presented in a non-biased manner. I understand I editorialize and share my opinions, but there is no malice behind what I write — I am simply trying to educate and stimulate constructive discussion on topics the citizenry should know about.

I am well aware I have to follow my own advice. I am not casting a net over humanity without throwing myself in with all the others. As the new year approaches, I will do my very best to try and be a better person. I will do my very best to try and cast positive energy to those who are around me. I will do my best to embrace people rather than push them away.

I challenge you all to try and do the same.



From the staff at the Beacon, may your 2020 be happy and prosperous. May it be better than 2019.

Happy New Year.

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